Meditation: How To Discover Your Special Place

By Jill Tolhurst

Your 'special place' is a place in your mind you can go to when you meditate. For each of us this place will be different - perhaps you go to a garden, the ocean, the mountains or rainforest. But whatever image you create in your mind, make the image vivid, strong and powerful so each time you close your eyes to meditate that special place will quickly appear.

As the image unfolds on the screen of your mind your breath will start to slow and deepen, the veil of daily life will lift, and you will begin to submerge yourself into a peace and stillness never before experienced.

As we give our mind, body and soul time to be, meditation becomes the dusting, the housekeeper of the soul. Without it, the mind remains busy and restless, with no focus or clarity.

What of distractions?
Can you sit in your place of peace, your lavender field or your mountain retreat - and be free of intruders? Just as our fields and mountains have bugs and pests, we often find similar intruders in our special place. The pest we find here though, is that intrusive voice that comes to hijack our meditation.

Beginners to meditation find this critical intruder very overpowering, for it seems the more they sit to meditate, the more opportunity there is for the critical parent (critical self) to emerge. Just as the lonely predator stalks the great plains for the unsuspecting yet suspecting victim, so the critical self waits for silence to overpower the mind. Spending time in your special place - without the intrusion of the critical parent, will always be a challenge even for those who mediate on a regular basis, but it is especially so for the beginner.

How do we overcome this intruder?
Our first intention must be to breathe. Learning the qualities of the breath and practice of pranayama (breathing practice) is very important. The object of pranayama is to consciously link mind and breath, to be aware of the inhalation, the breath retention and the exhalation. From this awareness of the breath, the mind quietens and mental clarity increases as the "fogginess" of everyday thinking is slowly lifted.

There are several practices of pranayama to choose from. However, unless you are working with an experienced teacher it is best to keep the breath relaxed, simple and unforced. Watch the breath flow in, hold briefly, and watch the breath flow out. This ebb and flow of breathing becomes a meditation on its own.

From pranayama we are able to move to the next step, that of pratyahara (sense withdraws). As we move through pranayama the mind becomes so intent on the breath that pratyahara occurs automatically. Through the practice of pratyahara our attention becomes drawn strongly 1 inward, and though the senses remain present, they become quiet and unresponsive, as we try to keep them "in their place" (by this I mean we are aware of sensations around us, but we simply do not label them or give them importance). We tend not to notice the passage of time in our special place or the discomforts of the physical body.

It is only as our senses return to normal that we feel the discomfort in our legs and feet! As we close off the outside world we want only to hear the voices of angels in our ears - the voice of the inner self, the higher self, the connection to all there is. These voices are soft whispers and so we need the stillness and quietness of the mind for them to be experienced.

Moving inward
As the breath becomes more and more mindful we are able to drown out the voice of the critical parent. We can say "Not now, for now is my time of peace". In this peacefulness we wish only to listen to the voice of love, the voice of ever lasting oneness, the super consciousness. And it is in this place of peace that we are able to hear this voice as the voice of the nurturing parent. As we sit with the nurturing parent our path becomes clear. We are able to see both the forest and the trees and know which is right for us. We can see the journey's path home.

The nurturing parent is the voice of unconditional love, and it is in meditation that we are able to experience this for ourselves. So often at the end of the day we hear a recording in our head wishing we could have or should have done more, done a better job, been stronger or been more in control. But how often do we say, "Well done, you did well today, you were all you needed to be on this day?" It is good soul food to self-praise, to smile inwardly and outwardly to ourselves, not for any other reason than for simply being.

Call to the voice of angels, to the nurturing parent. Say to them how great life is, say how you love all those around you. Say too, how you respect the critical parent, who drives and challenges us to find more of who we are. It is the critical parent that will open the door, and then slam it shut in our face.

It is when we take chances and risks that we grow. We begin to overcome the negative traits of past conditioning.

The question is, do we love and respect ourselves enough, and do we have the courage to open the door again and walk through?

- the programming of "you're not good enough or smart enough" - and move toward higher ground. From this higher ground we are able to see again the forest and not get lost among the trees, for it is the dense darkness of the trees that harbours self doubt.

When you feel overwhelmed in silence by the voice of criticism, take a breath and say again, "Thank you, but not now will I listen to your words, for now I will listen only to the words of the angels". There will grow with each breath a sense of self-love, and then from this self-love the inner fire will burn. Breathe to the lower abdominal area and the lower lungs, and expand and ignite the "agne" (fire within).

Continue to breathe life into this fire, and from it will come the strength to burn away all that is not good for the self. As you burn away the baggage, offer it up to the Divine to be returned as fuel to build a bigger fire, so that this fire may burn through the mightiest tempest that life can throw your way.

Why meditate?
When asked "why meditate" many benefits come to mind. The stillness and peace help heal the heart and give us a chance to read the passages of our soul's journey. A busy lifestyle, the voice of the critical self, the ego, perfectionism and so on, blur and bury the passages, the pages, and in time the whole book as our journey becomes a drudgery of day-to-day doing with no real meaning.

Meditation allows us to drop the things we no longer need. These may be beliefs we have carried through from childhood, or perhaps collected in our teenage years, or maybe feelings we have held on to from an abusive relationship. When we give ourselves permission to stop and listen to our inner self we are able to see ourselves as pure and unblemished. The garbage we thought we needed to hang on to, we can let slip away to reveal the uniqueness of our inner beauty.

Meditation is all about freeing ourselves. It's about saying "I'm OK, I'm all I need to be."

By learning to control our minds we prevent the critical parent from becoming strong enough to have power over our thinking. We become stronger and more confident to open the doors of life and travel less familiar roads, to journey to higher peaks and climb even more difficult mountains.

Meditation can be the" feel of a gentle breeze, the fragrance of the jasmine, the beauty of a rose; it can be whatever you want it to be.

Practicing meditation enables us to see a whole new world. You can meditate upon life itself, upon death, and you can let go. Letting go will allow the passing of the old and acceptance of the new. By letting go, we can see the death of past acts, past hurt, pain, unhappiness and behaviours.

Meditation is the realm of the wholeness of life and death, and of the breath we breathe and the love we share with ourselves and others. Our pain may resurface again another day, but with the breath and a new belief in ourselves we are able to move forward.

The mindful art of breathing and the journey inward in meditation is all about healing.

I tell my students that meditation is as important as brushing your teeth; it needs to be done at least daily and our special place needs to be cared for with diligence. Go often to your special place and clear the weeds of negativity, water your flowers of peace, fill the ponds with love. Sprout from these ponds lotus flowers and let them lift you above the mud and mire of the daily grind. Regular meditation in your special place is your connection to all there is so that you may find yourself as one with all.

During meditation we encounter our true reality, the reality that drives us. We see things as they really are.

Meditation is for everyone, but the act of meditation is a process that will take time, because it is difficult for many people to stop and just sit patiently. Patience is the first "lesson" of meditation! Stay with the breath and begin only with the expectation of meditating for five minutes. Or even better than this - have no expectations at all and just let be what will be. Whatever time passes will be just right for you at that time on that day. This will be challenge enough to start with. You will find there will be many challenges in the first few minutes, from the critical parent to the discomfort of the physical body.

Love yourself and be willing to keep trying because the benefits will come.

Just as you have passed many challenging tests in the past, so you shall pass another with love, self discipline and the desire to be all that you can be. Whether you choose to meditate upon a deity, the beauty of nature, or the universe, is not important, as long as you know for yourself your belief and know the force that drives you and the force that calls you home.